An aside

I should probably point out that posting a blog that specifies not to read it might seem silly to everyone else.  "Of course that means we'll want to read it, why would you do that?"  Yes... well... you see... no, I don't think anyone should read it and no I didn't write it in the hopes that someone would.  But I had to write all that down and I needed to put it somewhere that wasn't just available to me.  If I had written that in a journal and hidden it in my room somewhere, it would be just as good as thinking the thoughts endlessly inside my mind.  It would still cut, it would still bleed, but it wouldn't stop because it would still be inside.  The internet is outside just enough that it matters.  Yet no one should have to read that.  Not people that care about me and not even people that don't know me from Eve.  It's unpleasant... but necessary.  So thanks for not freaking out, Mr. The Internet.  You're a stand-up kinda guy.